The Proposal

Avec Evi, ma banquière chypriote d'AstroBank, les choses avancent. Je reçois enfin LA proposition :

" Hello Theo,

Here is a run through of the details per your request. I am going to be very straightforward with you and humbly request that you keep the contents of this mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come across. 

Sometime in June 2009, a client (Luca Viaud) who at the time traded in Bonds and was resident in Cyprus came to our bank to discuss the possibility of securing SBLC of EUR 100M. Although negotiations for the SBLC was unsuccessful, as the relationship officer in charge of negotiations on behalf of the bank, I encouraged him to consider investing in various growth of funds opportunities with prime ratings. Then he made a timed investment deposit of Twenty-one Million four Hundred Thousand Euros only. Based on my advice, we were able to spin the initial deposit with profit and interest to Twenty-five million, Five Hundred Thousand Euros only. After few months, my bank (Piraeus Bank now AstroBank) sent several notices to him without response and unfortunately my client had died in a car crash along with his nuclear family (wife and 2 kids) in Lisbon Portugal while on sabbatical in the summer of 2010, may their soul rest in peace.  Due to the sensitive nature of private banking, most customers don't nominate next of kin's for their investment, also usually in most cases leave their WILLS in our care but in this case; our now deceased client died in-testate. There are no available family members who are privy to the investment information and they never will because the bank as a policy does not go search for  relatives neither will it divulge this information for security purposes.

 According to Cyprus banking practice, the Private banking sector will by the end of this year broadcast a request for statement of claim to Piraeus Bank Ltd, failing to receive viable claims the office will revert this deposit to the Management of Piraeus Bank Ltd as standard procedure i.e channeling abandoned funds into the Piraeus Bank accounting system and the portfolio will be out of my hands and out of the private banking division. What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country, a lien or an investment holder who is an individual losses the estate after the expiration of a certain period of time. If the lien holder cannot be located at the expiration of Ten {10} years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Cyprus Government.

Having stated above, I am officially seeking your consent to present you as the next of kin of my late client since you share and bear the same last name. As such, the proceeds of the account can be paid to you as soon as you contact my bank and apply for the funds to be released to you as the next of kin. The timing and coincidences couldn't be any more perfect and If we can be of one accord, I see no reason why we would not succeed. We both have to act swiftly on this matter in other to beat the deadline es cheat date. Please get back to me immediately for us to proceed. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and me from breaching Cyprus Financial laws.

If this process is alright by you then kindly get back to me. The content of this mail should be treated with utmost confidentiality and a quick response from you will be highly appreciated. However, if you are not interested in this proposal, please accept my apologies and kindly delete the message, I promise that you will never hear of this from me. I anticipate your co-operation.

I await your review to take it forward.

Thanks,

Yours faithfully"

Ce qui est extraordinaire dans cette histoire, c'est qu'au moment où Evi et moi matchons sur happn, elle ne connaît que mon prénom. Puis elle me demande mon mail (ce qui est une procédure tout à fait hors norme ; en fait, c'est la seule qui m'ait jamais demandé mon mail et non mon téléphone), elle obtient mon nom, et voilà que mon nom correspond exactement à ce pauvre Luca qui est mort en 2009 en ayant placé plein de millions qu'elle me propose de récupérer !

Autre coïncidence merveilleuse, l'argent devient propriété de l'Etat après 10 ans : or ce pauvre Luca est décédé en 2009 ! c'est-à-dire qu'il faut nous dépêcher pour tout récupérer just on time.

Par contre la dimension sexuelle s'éloigne à mesure que les millions se rapprochent : plus de photos, plus de propos prometteurs ! Ce n'est pas grave, avec mes 25,5 M€ je vais pouvoir me payer de la pute de luxe chypriote.